A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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