What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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