A man walked into a bar. He was accused of being to drunk to drive so someone called a cab for him and he was forced to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're accent sure sounds like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like that, but why am I happy?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops