How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops