Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy killed his kids and wife Pokémon GO also exists

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops