How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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A man was shot. He died.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops