Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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