Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops