a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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What would happen if hitler and winston Churchill was in a bar? The police will be called to take them away as there just laying there dead

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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race-car = rac-ecar

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A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

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Jesus Christ

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Q: What's the difference between Osama's death and Paris Hilton's bra? A: One is Osama's death and the other is Paris Hilton's bra.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: She was going to speek at a PETA meeting about the cruel conditions of chicken farms. I hit her with my car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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