An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A white man is running away from a black man. Because they are Playing tag. A gaming involving to touch the other person

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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