Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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