A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

thumb_up thumb_down -17

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops