Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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What's good about eating every night? Knowing that an African won't.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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My spelling is horrible

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops