Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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