Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Hey

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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