why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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