What did the lion say on a hot day in Africa? Nothing, lions can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops