How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By pulling human entrails out of her purse when he asks her to provide insurance.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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