So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

Jerry Sandusky and two other men are on a cruise ship, when it suddenly starts to sink. The first man says, "save the children!" The second man says, "screw the children!" Jerry Sandusky drowned.

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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