What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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