- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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