How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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k

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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Cat ate a battery, did volts.

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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