How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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