Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops