Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than 2 babies in a trashcan. 1 baby in 2 trashcans

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar so how many Jews were there when a man called Wellard ate a pizza. Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops