how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u say something about an I will punch u in the face u stupid cike!!!!

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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