Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby? You take your boots of before jumping on the trampoline!!!!!!!!!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Why did the White man scream when he saw a Black man? Because he was scared.

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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