What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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