Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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