How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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My peni s

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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