What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What do you call a mexican man with a rubber toe? Ruberto.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops