There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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Two Lawyers were talking to one another. The first lawyer said, "Wow this is the fourth case I've won in a row!" The other lawyer did not know how to respond because of the men the other lawyer put in jail had escaped from jail and already killed the lawyer's family.

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A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

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A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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