Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

a irish man walks past a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -35

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops