Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

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What do you call 10,000 lawyers jumping off a cliff? Mass suicide

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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