knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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