So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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pudding

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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