One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

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T u r n i p s

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Tim likes girls

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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