what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops