when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops