Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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