a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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roses are red poo is poo

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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