- Anti Joke

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

Skinny people fart less.

A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

Why do mexicans like tacos? Because tacos are a very well liked food and they happen to taste good

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA GASP! X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." runs

A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

Q:why was steve sad? A:he had an extra penis

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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