How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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UN

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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