Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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No antijoke here.

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Refridgerator.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops