Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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My grandfather died in a Nazi Death Camp. He fell off a watch tower.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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