An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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