What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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kkkk

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops