whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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bite me

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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