Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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Equal rights!

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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1 white girl and 2 black men -TRAGIC

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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