A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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