I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

No antijoke here.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

Poop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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