Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

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You know what they say about a man's feet... No i don't.

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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