In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

a man was shot.... he died

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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