i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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