Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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911 jokes are just plane wrong

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What happened to the homosexual jiggalo? He ended up getting aids from having anal sex with various men which is not the best idea because the anus where poop comes from.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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