What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

What's long and black The unemployment line

whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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