There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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Santa isn't real

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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what do you get when you come across a old dog with herpes, a fat man with herpes and an apple? you get nothing but the satisfaction of seeing such a horrific sight

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops