Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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A woman walks into a bar.

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Put my shoes on the wrong feet. Don't matter, i'm gunna die anyway.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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knock knock... who's there? uninterrupted cow uninterrupted cow who?? exactly....

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A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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