A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more likely you are to realize that beans aren't actually fruit. They're legumes.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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antijoke is the best website.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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